Children not listening

Susie was trying really, really hard to be a "good mum."

She walked into the living room and saw blocks everywhere.

She used her soft, nice voice. "Lily, can you please pick up the blocks? It’s dinner time."

Lily didn't move.

She didn't even look up.

It was like Susie was invisible.

Lily was busy making a big, tall tower and she was thinking really hard about where the next block should go.

Susie tried again.

She stayed back and said it even nicer. "Honey, please? Let's clean up."

Lily just kept building. Clink. Clink. Clink.

She was far away in her own world of play.

If you’ve ever felt like Susie, I just want to say: I get it. It is so hard when you try to be nice and your kid acts like you aren't even there.

It makes you feel sad and mad all at once.

It’s okay to feel that way.

It doesn't mean you are a bad mum, and it doesn't mean your kid is a "bad kid."

It just means things are really tricky right now.

Back to Susie -

Suddenly, Susie felt a hot, mean feeling in her tummy.

It felt like Lily was being mean on purpose.

It felt like Lily didn't care about her at all.

Susie’s face got red, her heart started thumping fast, and she just snapped.

"LILY! I SAID PICK THEM UP NOW! WHY DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN?!"

Lily jumped.

Her tower fell over.

She looked at Susie like she was a scary monster, and her eyes got all watery.

Think about a time you were busy doing something you liked.

Maybe you were finally sitting down to read a story, or you were scrolling on your phone looking at pictures, or even just writing a quick text.

You are really focused.

You are in your "own world."

Suddenly, your partner or a friend shouts from the other room, "Hey! Can you come help me move this box?"

You heard them, but you didn't really hear them. You’re right in the middle of something!

You keep scrolling.

Then, they walk into the room.

They stand by the door and say it again. "I said, can you help me?"

It feels annoying, right?

You aren't being mean.

You aren't trying to be rude.

You’re just busy!

Your brain is stuck on what you’re doing, and it’s really hard to just "turn it off" and do something else right that second.

This is exactly how it feels for Lily.

When she’s building that tower, that’s her "job." When Susie talks from far away, Lily’s brain is too busy to let the words in.

The First Step for Susie

The very first thing Susie needs to do is stop talking from across the room.

Instead of staying far away and using her voice, she needs to move her body closer and get all the way down to where Lily is playing.

She needs to put herself right in Lily's world before she asks for anything else.

This first step , alone, makes a huge difference difference. Once small tweak start your on the path to getting more response and helping you feel more calm.

I help parents to get to a point where stressful parenting is a thing of the past