Mum frustration

How to Reduce Mum’s Frustration

(Without Trying to Control Everything)

Some days, parenting feels like trying to stop a leaking nappy with one hand while stirring dinner with the other.

Like trying to catch rice off the floor with a dustpan when the toddler keeps tipping the bowl.

Like holding in tears at the school gate after another morning of shouting and socks that “feel wrong”

You repeat yourself.

You try to stay calm.

You set limits.

And still…… it’s like no one’s listening.

The mess builds,

the resistance mounts,

and

the frustration rises until you feel like you might explode.

If you’re feeling constantly on edge, this article is for you.

Because you don’t need to be a more patient person, you just need to stop trying to control the uncontrollable.

Parenting Isn’t About Control

This is the shift that changes everything:

You cannot control your child.

You can’t control how they feel,

How they speak,

or how they respond.

You can’t force understanding, maturity, or motivation.

And you don’t need to.

Parenting is not management.

It’s leadership.

And leadership starts with respect.

Not just for your child, but for yourself too

When you lead, you set the tone.

You decide what matters.

You make decisions about boundaries, tone, rhythm, and structure in the home.

That’s where your power is.

It’s not about controlling your child’s reaction;

It’s about controlling your own.

Frustration Comes From Mismatched Expectations

Often the biggest trigger for frustration is the gap between what you expect and what your child is capable of.

Take an eight-year-old, for example. Old enough to hold a conversation, maybe even smart enough to argue a legal case but still years away from being emotionally regulated, considerate, or consistent.

Their brain is still in development.

Logic and empathy take a backseat when emotions run high.

If you’re expecting smooth cooperation from a child in a messy emotional state, you’re going to feel constantly disappointed.

But when you see their outbursts, defiance, or forgetfulness as part of normal development, not a personal attack, it gets easier to stay grounded.

Frustration softens when understanding grows.

Lead With the Qualities You Want Them to Learn

Your child is always watching.

How you handle conflict, boredom, mistakes, and pressure is what they internalise.

You want them to speak respectfully?

Show them how.

You want them to clean up without a fight?

Be the model of consistency.

You want them to regulate big feelings?

Let them see you do it first.

You lead by setting the standard, not by barking orders, but by showing what’s possible.

The more you align your actions with the values you want to teach, the less you’ll feel like a referee and the more you’ll feel like a guide.

The Relief of Letting Go

You don’t need to control every moment.

You don’t need perfect harmony.

You need clarity.

You need to know what matters to you, what your home needs to function well, and what’s non-negotiable for your family’s wellbeing.

And then?

You hold that line with calm, consistent leadership.

The how?

That’s individual.

That’s where coaching, support, or deeper work comes in.

But if you start by shifting away from control and toward leadership, you’ll find yourself breathing easier.

Because when you stop trying to control your child, you stop feeling constantly out of control yourself.

Take away at least two pieces of new perspective form this article

And decide - what two actions will you now take that are different ?