Kids emotions

Helping Kids Handle Their Emotions with Whole Needs Parenting

When your child’s emotions are big, it can feel overwhelming for you as a mum.

Maybe your toddler is screaming in the supermarket aisle or your older child is sulking in their bedroom after school.

In those moments, it’s easy to think, “Why can’t they just calm down?” or even to feel like you’ve done something wrong.

You’re not alone, every parent faces these challenges.

Whole Needs Parenting takes the view that behaviour is communication.

Your child’s emotions are signals that something inside them needs attention, not problems to be shut down.

When we look beneath the surface, we often find unmet needs, fears, or frustrations driving the storm.

Why emotions feel so big for kids

Children’s brains are still developing, especially the part that helps with self-control and reasoning.

That means they experience emotions at full volume without yet having the skills to regulate them. Just as we wouldn’t expect a baby to walk before they’ve learned to crawl, we can’t expect kids to have perfect emotional control before they’ve practiced and been supported through it.

An everyday example: toddler frustration

Imagine your three-year-old wants the blue cup, but it’s in the dishwasher. Suddenly, there are tears, stomps, and maybe even a throw across the room. To you, it looks like “overreacting.” But through the Whole Needs Parenting© lens, you see it as a real loss for your child. Their need for choice and control wasn’t met, and their brain went into overwhelm. Instead of snapping, you can kneel down, offer eye contact, and say, “You really wanted the blue cup. That’s so frustrating when it’s not here.” This doesn’t mean you give in—it means you show them you understand. The empathy helps calm their nervous system, and over time, they learn to do the same for themselves.

Another example: school-age worries

Picture your seven-year-old refusing to go to school. You might hear “my tummy hurts” or “I hate school.” Underneath, it may be anxiety about fitting in, or the need for safety and belonging. Rather than forcing them into their shoes, Whole Needs Parenting© invites you to pause and listen. You could say, “It sounds like school feels hard today. Can you tell me what feels scary?” By naming the feeling and exploring what’s underneath, you connect with their need for security. Together, you can come up with a small step—like asking the teacher for a buddy or arranging a hand-off routine that feels safer.

Supporting yourself in the process

It’s important to admit: helping your child regulate emotions is draining. Some days, you’ll manage to meet their storm with calm, and other days you’ll snap. That doesn’t make you a bad mum—it makes you human. Whole Needs Parenting© includes your needs too. When you give yourself breaks, reach out for support, or simply take three deep breaths before responding, you’re modeling self-regulation for your child.

The bigger picture

When children grow up in an environment where their feelings are seen and accepted, they develop resilience. They learn that emotions aren’t dangerous, that they can express them safely, and that they can return to calm again. Whole Needs Parenting© isn’t about “fixing” behaviour—it’s about guiding children to understand themselves and giving them tools to handle life’s ups and downs.