Mum - have a break! How?

How Do Mums Get a Break?

When I was snowed under, being a busy mum, I needed a break. Desperately

I thought a break meant getting away from it all.

A day at the spa, a weekend away, or at least a few hours without the kids.

A big long break?

And no, not a holiday with the kids.

That wasn’t a break!

That was same stuff different location!!

But I soon realised that it was almost impossible to organise. And even if I did, by the time I’d arranged childcare, written out the instructions, and packed everything everyone else needed, I was more exhausted than before.

And even when I finally sat down with that cup of coffee or lay on the massage table, a voice in my head whispered, you should be at home. You’re a mum, your job is to look after your kids.

That’s now I realise : a break is only a break if it’s guilt free.

Why we need to flip the script

Most mums see a break as “time off” from family.

But in Whole Needs Parenting © we ask: what is the break really for?

A break is not just about escaping your children!

It’s about meeting your needs so you can come back with more energy, more presence, and more patience.

This changes everything.

Instead of chasing the impossible “big break,” we start noticing the small ones that are right in front of us.

What need are you trying to meet?

Think of it this way: every break has a purpose.

It’s not random “time away.”

It’s about tuning into which need is loudest and biggest in the moment.

• If you’ve been surrounded by constant noise, your need might be quiet (internal or external).

• If you’ve been touched all day, your need might be space.

• If you’ve been carrying responsibility, your need might be lightness or laughter.

• If you’ve been running on autopilot, your need might be connection to yourself.

When you see breaks this way, you stop judging the size of the break and start valuing the quality.

How to use even two minutes

One afternoon, I remember going outside to bring the washing in. It took only a few minutes. The kids were watching TV (no judgement here!)

I breathed in the fresh air, closed my eyes, and just inhaled.

That tiny pause gave me more than any rushed “girls’ night out” ever had, because it was what I actually needed right then. Silence and space.

That’s the difference.

When you know the need you’re meeting, two minutes can feel like fuel in your tank.

• Need quiet? Step outside and breathe in the air.

• Need space? Stretch or move your body.

• Need connection? Scribble a thought in your journal or notes app.

• Need lightness? Put on one song that always makes you smile.

Making it guilt free

Here’s the real shift: permission.

A break doesn’t count if you spend the whole time feeling bad about it.

That guilt drains the very energy you’re trying to refill!!

Whole Needs Parenting © reminds us that when you meet your needs, your whole family benefits.

A mum who has taken a real, guilt-free break is calmer, warmer, and more resilient.

The bigger picture

When we start taking micro-breaks with intention, we stop waiting for someone else to give us permission.

We stop relying on once-in-a-blue-moon escapes that leave us even more depleted.

Instead, we build a rhythm of tiny resets that keep us steady through the ups and downs of family life.

And here’s the beautiful part: once your children see you doing this - meeting YOUR needs in small, healthy ways, they learn that it’s safe for them to do the same.

So you’re not just giving yourself a break, you’re showing them how to care for themselves too.

Reflection questions for mums

To help you turn this into practice, here are a few prompts, so you can get curious:

1. Right now, which of my needs feels the biggest?

2. If I only had two minutes, what’s one small way I could meet that need?

3. What thoughts or guilt usually get in the way of me taking a break?

4. How would it feel different if I gave myself permission, knowing it benefits me and my children?

5. What’s one guilt-free micro-break I could try today?