Part One of The Loving Series©
Do you want to be liked? Do you want to be loved?
If you missed the introduction - follow this link
Hope for people to like you the way you are?
Try hard to be the person that people will like?
As a child, I over compromised & helped my mother in hope of being liked. As helping didn’t work I assumed I wasn’t good enough in her eyes.
My question was what/ how much do I need to do to be liked .
Is it like this for you? With everyone? Do you feel it must be you? I did. That you aren’t ever going to be good enough. Eating away at your underlying confidence.
You either bend who you are to fit in
You are resolutely unbending in who you are.
I didn't have another strategy. Give up or persist?
Last year, in frustration, I realised that I DO have positive attributes.
Why couldn't they see?
I did this exercise.
And I realised I wanted her (& others) to appreciate me for what I do.
Appreciation is important to me.
So I look for people with appreciation.
Does anyone like you?* List them and then list their personality traits.
Who do you WANT to like you - List theirs also
(attached is a suggestion list see PDF)
Next look through your lists & tick the traits that also apply to you.
Now add your traits.
This helped me when I was frustrated because I could see what I had to offer.
I could see what’s good about me & where it matches with those who I want to like me.
This week - follow the steps above. Let me know by private message what you discover.
*(Family aside - as that's a unique relationship)
Note: We can't please all of the people all of the time, so don't try and be liked by everyone!