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You are ‘telling’ your kids they can’t do it….

May 4
2 min read

Updated: May 18

Why do you end up doing everything yourself?


Because it’s quicker.


Because they’re slow.


Because you’ve already asked three times.


Because you’re tired and just need it done.


So you step in.


You tie their shoes.


You pack their bag.


You pour their drink.


You clean up what they could have done.


And in that moment, it works. Things happen. The pressure is off.


But there’s a trade happening.


Every time you step in and take over, they don’t need to learn.


There don’t need to put in the effort.


They lose the opportunity to know “I can do this.”


It doesn’t look like a big deal right then and there. It just looks like the best way of getting through the day.


But over time, it builds.


They start waiting.


They rely on you more.


They give up quicker.


And you end up doing… everything.


Not because they can’t learn


But because they haven’t had enough chances to try, struggle, and figure it out with you there.


And you’re giving them the message that they aren’t capable


So what can you do about this……


This is the part that gets missed.


It’s not about leaving them to it.


It’s not about watching them struggle while you stand back.


It’s about shifting from doing it for them to doing it with them.


Instead of


“I’ll just do it”


Try


“I’ll help you do it”


Sit with them while they put their shoes on.


Break it down.


Slow it down.


Stay close when they get frustrated.


Yes, it takes longer right now.


But you’re building something every time you don’t take over.


Confidence.


Capability.


Trust in themselves.


And eventually, you won’t have to do it all.


Because they can.

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