Screen time and kids

When Screen Time Becomes the Battleground….

It’s late afternoon.

You’ve finally sat down with a cup of tea after a whirlwind day.

The kids are on their devices, quiet for once.

Then you realise an hour has passed.

You tell them it’s time to get off, and the battle begins.

The pleading, negotiating, even meltdowns.

You’re left wondering if it’s worth the fight at all.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

In homes everywhere, screen time isn’t just about screens.

It’s about energy levels, emotions, connection, and sometimes our own need for a moment of peace.

It’s a tug-of-war between their want to stay in a digital world and our want for them to live in the real one.

The Deeper Want

In Whole Needs Parenting© we go beyond the behaviours and see the human need beneath them.

When it comes to screens, the deeper want isn’t about control.

It’s about nurturing the skills and habits that help children thrive.

We want our kids to:

• Be able to stop doing something enjoyable without falling apart

• Feel comfortable in their own company without constant stimulation

• Make time for real-world play, relationships, and rest

• Learn how to balance pleasure with responsibility

These wants are about who they’re becoming, not just what they’re doing.

Rules alone can’t grow these qualities, but connection, empathy, and shared understanding can.

Starting with Agreement

Instead of laying down rules from the top, we can start by talking about what we both want.

We can say, “I want you to enjoy your screen time and also be able to switch off easily.

I want you to feel good in your body and mind after using it.”

When they know we care about their enjoyment as well as our boundaries, we shift from policing to partnering.

From there, we can agree on the kind of day we want to have.

Is there time for outdoor play?

Family connection?

Homework?

Rest?

Screen use becomes one part of the whole picture, not the enemy, not the main event.

By focusing on the want, we invite our kids into the conversation about balance, which means they start to own it, rather than fight it.