Disrespect and kids

When you feel your child is Disrespectful:

Learn how to be understanding and responding with Whole Needs Parenting©

We’ve all been there.

Your child is disrespectful.

They way they talk isn’t acceptable

How did it get to this?

If your child talks back, ignores you, or pushes boundaries in ways that feel disrespectful, it’s natural to feel hurt, frustrated, or even like you’re failing.

Many mums tell themselves their child is “just being difficult,” or it’s that stage.

Others worry that their parenting isn’t working.

The truth is, your child’s behaviour is not a reflection of your worth or theirs.

It’s a signal that something deeper is going on.

We need to get on top of it. It can become a habit or a pattern or a way to treat people for life.

This spells disaster for their future relationships.

It’s your role to set them up to thrive in relationships and now is the time to start.

From a Whole Needs Parenting© perspective, behaviour is always a form of communication.

What looks like disrespect is often your child trying to express needs that aren’t being met.

They may want attention, connection, or understanding.

They may be overwhelmed by feelings they can’t manage yet.

Sometimes it’s fear, frustration, or exhaustion talking. Not defiance.

Disrespect is a signpost.

It’s telling you that something needs attention. Seeing this as a signal shifts your focus from reacting in the moment to understanding the child beneath the behaviour.

Here’s what mums need to focus on when their child acts disrespectfully:

1. Notice the behaviour

   
   

   Acknowledge that disrespect has happened without judging your child or labelling them.

   
   

2. Understand the underlying needs

   
   

   Remember that behaviour reflects emotional, social, or developmental needs that aren’t fully met.

   
   

3. Acknowledge the feelings behind it

   
   

   Recognise that big feelings, whether it be frustration, fear, or tiredness, often drive behaviour.

   
   

4. Recognise patterns

   
   

   Notice repeated situations or triggers that reveal consistent unmet needs.

   
   

5. Respond with intention

   
   

   Keep connection and guidance in mind while attending to the needs behind the behaviour.

   
   

6. Focus on long-term growth

   
   

   Keep your eyes on helping your child develop respect, empathy, and self-regulation over time.

When you focus on these steps, you’re not just managing disrepsect. You are understanding your child, nurturing your connection, and helping them grow into a confident, emotionally aware, and respectful person.

You are doing the important work of parenting, even in the messy moments, and it matters more than any single behaviour.