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When strengths become weaknesses.

Updated: Oct 18, 2021

Mical comes across as very self-confident and opinionated.

These strengths have helped him go far in the business world, as it has for about 70% of senior executives.

Mical is vital to business - knowledgeable on a range of topics - demonstrated by sharing that knowledge.

Even when he doesn’t feel confident he will ‘fake it till he makes it’.

As an alpha, Mical, and men like him, lead companies and are exceptional at it.

Mical is popular in business – he oozes confidence; people like people who are confident as it makes them feel confident and secure also.

So people go to the alpha male because they want someone who will lead and has the ability to take control.

The alpha male is not in the business of trying to please people, he is all about getting the job done, not taking things personally and not expecting others to either.

His confidence is so high that he is rightly quite firm in his opinions.

How does this strength show itself?

His no nonsense approach saves time, he isn’t afraid to speak up, saying what he thinks, getting directly to the point (his point) and making decisions.

He holds no fear of making the hardest decisions (including firing people).

Businesses need decisionmakers - leaders who take action - so that others can follow - acting decisively and with good business intuition.

This confidence leads the alpha male to be opinionated, believing everyone wants to hear their knowledge and opinion.

Their job as a leader is to join the conversation and to show others how much they know - and stamp their mark.

To do this they need to break into and be part of the conversation and then, to be included, they feel the need to take control.

Then they can give their opinion (whether welcome or not ), which further displays their knowledge.

It then becomes all about the alpha because they have directed the conversation to their arena, telling their story because they feel everyone must want to know. It’s very self-centred.

Mical stands by his beliefs, and his mission, and he backs those who back him, no matter what, because he is always right.

When he fails it’s just a learning opportunity and he never plays victim to get sympathy or make excuses.

He just charges forward, like an elephant in the jungle, leaving others to clean up behind him.

Mical appears incredibly confident, but actually this isn’t necessarily true. It’s an impression he gives.

Similarly in a social setting, an alpha can be the life of the party. The party needs a focal point and someone has to be this. So the alpha will play the fool or take the lead. First on the dance floor, for example, so they can get the party going.

Even if you don't like them, they serve a purpose/function.

In a social setting they are wanting to be part of the group, and to be popular (rather than trying to win business)

They assume the group wants to know and hear their knowledge. They may start with a quip and before you know it they are dominating the room. This means they are part of it - because they control it. So socially, they can entertain the room.

People want to sit at their table because they are interesting. They are alive, even if annoying!

In what way can this be a weakness?

The alpha takes the story away from others, so the focus is on them, which depowers others.

They don’t necessarily care what others think, as long as people are listening (captive even) then they can trample over them because they don’t even consider the feelings of others.

However in terms of being part of a team (which is what we really need - team of family , team of couple, team of friendship, team of workplace) they can be seen as closed minded, domineering, intimidating and non-inclusive.

So although they help others feel secure with their confidence, alpha males also make the rest of us feel insecure at the same time.

They can’t be bothered to help laggards and bring them with them.

They don’t have time for that.

Others need to take their own action as the alpha male isn’t going to spare the time or patience for ditherers.

Their confidence is rock solid and never wavers, making them obstinate.

To exert their authority the alpha may start a meeting with a put down.

This tool is to make them feel in charge, but it’s like a form of bullying.

It doesn’t occur to them how others may receive it, they are too busy focusing on dominating.

You can’t challenge them at the time, as they can't possibly be wrong, and they would simply cut you down.

If you raise it with them after - they will dismiss it, and invalidate your feedback.

If they do hear it, they may feel embarrassed but, to them, the moment has passed and they are barging ahead to the next thing. They don’t learn from it.

How could self-confidence and being opinionated be more advantageous?

If the alpha can become more humble. (However being humble is not in his personal dictionary ).

If the alpha can learn when to stop (infinitely hard for him)

Or if the alpha can make jokes that aren’t personal (how will he take control then?)

Their behaviour actually shows a lack of confidence.

Their arrogance comes to the fore, to hide any hint of inferiority, because lack of confidence means inferiority.

They can’t let anyone see through this facade - they shut that down by any means possible.

They might benefit from understanding that all people have feelings and degrees of insecurity, INCLUDING themselves. This, of course, involves empathy.

What are they trying to hide from? Are they insecure?

Alpha Male Series©

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