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Three steps to picking your battles

Updated: Nov 26, 2020

I was having a conversation and it started to go a bit haywire. I got totally caught up in it. In hindsight, I realised that I didn't want, or need, to get involved.

Do you find that some people, or your children, get you totally drawn into a conversation, or fixing something, or is this just me?

I then get frustrated when it goes nowhere or goes round in round in circles.

It reminds me of when my kids were younger. Once you become aware of a behaviour you don't like you keep seeing it. Then you get wound up by it and try to get on top of it and you can't let it go.

It's all too easy to get caught focusing on something. Yet when you step back you can see it more logically. Is it really worth it? In the big picture of life is it really worth the energy?

You hear this phrase 'pick your battles' but do you really apply it.

Here's how to stop yourself falling into this trap:

Be aware. Awareness is key. You don't need to fix everything. You don't need be on top of everything, nor do you need to focus on everything.

Select what is important in your life. It is all too easy to get overwhelmed these days. Our 'to do' list is to long, we have too many goals, we are trying to please too many people....

Aim to keep things simple. One thing at a time. I always tell parents - focus on one behaviour at a time.

When parents come to see me, we focus on the main behaviour that is causing them a problem. We work out what strategies will work to eliminate that behaviour and/or change it for a better one. Through this, parents learn how to apply strategies and how they work in practice. Once we have that behaviour under control we can work on the next one.


In summary be aware of how many things you are trying to get under control . Select what is really important. Keep things simple and get on top of one thing at a time. Contact me for any further advice or assistance with this.

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