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Should I stay or should I go now?

How do we know which situation we are in: persistence or looking for choices (options that are available to you)?

How often do we get the wrong answer because we don't ask the right question?

I'm talking to Trump, but we have all had this conundrum.

I am a great believer in both persistence and choices. This is a break up and often in a break up you don't have that choice. Break ups can be very hard to stomach. It not ideal to try to choose between two choices that aren't actually open to you. So you need to choose again.

Sometimes we need to put in hard work. It makes it all the more rewarding when you get the result. (See my article on delayed gratification). Sometimes we have to know when its time to move on.

How do we know which situation we are in?

How often do we get the wrong answer because we don't ask the right question?

Dear Donald

I can understand you are heartbroken. You have worked tirelessly for your supporters. You feel you can do more and you want to be there for those who do still want you.

Now you feel rejected. Do you feel a lack of gratitude? Is it this gratitude gives you the approval of yourself that you need. Consider for a moment: if you could internalise that approval of yourself then you would you still need the external validation.

Some people don't want you any more. How does that make you feel? Does it feel like rejection? It's understandable - we all like to be wanted. They aren't rejecting you as a person . You are the same person - the same one they voted for last time. They are referring to your work, they want someone else to do it now. Also it isn't everyone - some people are so happy that they have voted for you to stay on. It doesn't change who you are just because you have less acknowledgement. If you can find that approval and acknowledgement another way would you be more comfortable leaving?

Some of us feel like a failure if we aren't wanted. When we need external approval it can make walking away harder. We feel we are walking away from ourselves. We fight to continue so we can continue to feel good about ourselves. We may dress this up as - "the people need me". We humans love to be needed and to not be needed any more hurts. I get that, that's natural.

Have you considered what other great things you can do in your life?

Life is about chapters and moving on. On to the next great goal and purpose.

So the questions you need to ask yourself

What is the need you are trying to fulfil here?

Are you trying to avoid something.

What can you do to still feel good about yourself if you no longer have their approval?

Do you have your own approval?

Is there a way you can approve of yourself without needing external validation?

When any relationship ends we feel we have done something wrong and we are no longer a good person . Rather than accept that you have maybe grown apart or how I see it:

Simply one person/party knows it isn't going to work out (the breaker upper) and the other not yet knowing this (the breakee).

Sorry you are hurting and hope you find acceptance of the situation and yourself so you can move on peacefully.

Obviously although i have written this to Donald Trump - we can all relate.

The lesson is:

Find choices that are open to you.

Ask the right questions to lead you to the answers that help you move on

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