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Others’ opinions

Writer's picture: Life MentoringLife Mentoring

How to Stop Caring Too Much About What Others Think

Caring about what others think is natural.


We’re social creatures, wired to seek belonging and connection.


But when the opinions of others—whether real or imagined—begin to dictate your thoughts, decisions, and sense of self-worth, it becomes a problem.


The fear of judgment can stop you from speaking up, trying new things, or making choices that truly align with who you are.


It can leave you feeling anxious, second-guessing everything, and constantly searching for approval that may never come.


If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone.


Many people struggle with this, often without realizing just how much it shapes their lives.


The good news? You can shift your focus back to what truly matters—your own perspective, values, and self-respect.


Why Do We Care So Much?


This tendency often starts in childhood.


As kids, we rely on approval from parents, teachers, and peers to feel safe and accepted.


If we experienced criticism, rejection, or unpredictable approval, we may have learned to be hyper-aware of how others see us.


Over time, this can turn into a habit of self-monitoring, where we constantly anticipate how people might judge us—even when no one actually is.


Social media and modern culture don’t help.


We're exposed to curated versions of other people’s lives, along with endless opinions on how we should look, act, and think.


When we internalise these external voices, our own sense of self can become lost.


But here's the truth: no one is scrutinising you as much as you think.


People are mostly focused on themselves, their own worries, and their own insecurities.


And even when they do have opinions about you, those opinions are shaped by their own experiences, biases, and struggles.


They don’t define you—unless you let them.


Shifting the Focus Back to You


The goal isn’t to completely ignore what others think. Other people’s perspectives can offer useful insights.


Their opinions should never outweigh your own.


You want to be able to listen, reflect, and then decide for yourself what aligns with who you are.


Here’s how to get there:


1. Recognise When You’re Overthinking


Pay attention to the moments when you’re caught in a spiral of worrying about what others think.

Ask yourself:

  • Am I assuming they’re judging me, or do I have actual evidence?

  • If they are judging me, does it really matter?

  • Will this opinion affect my life in a meaningful way?


Most of the time, the worst-case scenario in your mind never actually happens.


2. Strengthen Your Own Self-Trust


If you don’t trust your own judgment, you’ll constantly look to others for reassurance.


Start making small decisions based on what you want, without seeking validation.


Over time, this builds confidence in your ability to think and choose for yourself.


3. Define Your Own Values


What truly matters to you?


Not what your parents, friends, or society say—what do you believe in?


What kind of person do you want to be?


When you have clear values, it’s easier to assess feedback objectively.


If criticism aligns with your values, you can learn from it.


If it doesn’t, you can let it go.


4. Stop Assuming Everyone is Watching


People aren’t as focused on you as you think.


They’re wrapped up in their own thoughts and concerns.


Remind yourself of this often.


5. Expose Yourself to Discomfort


Start doing things that might make you feel judged—speaking up in a meeting, wearing what you love, expressing an unpopular opinion.


The more you face this fear, the more you realise that judgment is often fleeting, and you can handle it.


6. Limit Social Media Consumption


Scrolling through highlight reels of others’ lives can fuel comparison and insecurity.


Take breaks from social media or unfollow accounts that make you doubt yourself.


7. Surround Yourself with the Right People


Spend time with those who respect you for who you are, not just for what you do or how you appear.


People who encourage your growth will make it easier to stand firm in your own self-worth.


8. Practice Self-Compassion


You’re going to make mistakes.


People might disapprove of you sometimes. That’s okay.


Be kind to yourself when you feel vulnerable or self-conscious.


Remind yourself that you are worthy, no matter what anyone else thinks.


Moving Forward With Confidence


Learning to care less about external opinions doesn’t mean becoming indifferent to others—it means valuing your own voice just as much, if not more.


It’s about knowing that your worth isn’t up for debate and that you have the right to make choices that align with your own happiness and fulfilment.


With practice, you’ll find that the weight of other people’s opinions starts to fade.


You’ll feel freer to be yourself, to take risks, and to live life on your own terms.


And that freedom is worth everything.


Daily and Weekly Guide to Building Confidence in Your Own Opinions


Changing how you respond to external opinions takes practice.


The more you reinforce your own perspective, the less power imagined or real judgments will have over you.


Below is a structured guide to help you shift your focus daily and weekly until confidence in yourself becomes second nature.


Daily Practices

Morning:

  1. Set Your Intention for the Day

    • Before you start your day, remind yourself: I am in charge of my own thoughts and choices today.

    • Choose one small action you will take today without seeking external validation (e.g., wearing what you truly like, making a decision without asking for reassurance, expressing your own opinion in a conversation).


  2. Affirm Your Own Worth

    • Repeat a phrase that reinforces your independence, such as:

      • “My opinions and decisions are valid.”

      • “I trust myself to know what’s right for me.”

      • “I don’t need approval to feel good about myself.”


  3. Plan Your Priorities Based on You

    • List three things that matter to you today—not things you’re doing just to please others.


Throughout the Day:


4. Catch Yourself Overthinking

  • If you notice yourself worrying about what others think, pause and ask:

    • “Am I assuming their opinion, or do I know for sure?”

    • “Will this matter in a week or a year?”

    • “What do I actually believe?”

  • If needed, take a deep breath and redirect your focus to what you want.


  • Act Without Seeking Approval

    • Do one thing each day without looking for validation. This could be something small, like ordering the meal you want instead of what you think others would expect or expressing your true opinion in a conversation.


  • Limit Social Media and External Influence

    • Reduce scrolling, especially on content that triggers comparison or self-doubt. Instead, consume content that supports your confidence and individuality.


Evening:


7. Reflect on Your Growth

  • Before bed, take 5 minutes to reflect:

    • What did I do today based on my own opinion?

    • Did I notice when I was worrying about others’ thoughts?

    • How did it feel to make my own choices?

  • Celebrate any progress, no matter how small.


Weekly Practices

At the end of each week, take some time to check in with yourself and reinforce your independence.


1. Review Your Wins

  • Write down three moments where you trusted yourself instead of worrying about external opinions.

  • Notice how these choices made you feel—were they freeing, empowering, or simply neutral?


2. Identify Patterns

  • When did you feel most affected by others’ opinions? Was it in a particular situation (work, family, social media)?

  • What thought patterns came up? How could you handle them differently next time?


3. Strengthen Your Own Values

  • Write down what’s important to you in different areas of life (relationships, work, personal growth).

  • Compare this to how you’ve been making decisions—are they aligned? If not, where can you adjust?


4. Push Yourself a Bit Further

  • Challenge yourself each week with something slightly out of your comfort zone:

    • Express an opinion even if it differs from the group.

    • Try something new without worrying about how you’ll be perceived.

    • Say no to something you don’t truly want to do.


5. Celebrate Progress

  • Confidence in yourself builds over time. Acknowledge how far you’ve come, even if it’s just being more aware of when you’re worrying about others’ opinions.


Final Thought

The key to shifting away from external validation is consistency.


Small, daily choices lead to big internal changes over time.


Stick with it, and soon, what others think will no longer feel like a weight on your shoulders—it will just be background noise, while you take the lead in your own life.

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