Updated: Apr 12, 2022
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Why Me First?
Have you ever noticed when you are in an aeroplane they tell you to put your own mask on first in an emergency? The reason is that you are in a better position to help others when you are okay yourself. Another way of looking at it is that your cup needs to be full and then you can serve people from your (overflowing) cup.
What is Self Care?
This was a question I first asked my self a few years ago. It's become a buzz word, and I'm not keen on buzz words personally, because I feel they lose their meaning. Self care - is when you consider yourself look after yourself. Don't wait for others to help you and care for you. Take on this job yourself. What is it though - it's discovering your needs in order to feel happier, and more fulfilled, and then getting those needs met. This isn't selfish - this is protecting yourself. Get to know yourself, get to know what you need and then find a healthy way to fulfil those needs. And the best bit is that then you are in a better position to help others more effectively!
Quite simply "how"? This was what I was asking once I'd realised that I couldn't wait any longer for other people to help me (which they weren't!). I'd waited long enough and it wasn't happening. Then I realised I was wanting an external source when really the best source was internal! Finally the penny had dropped. I would be my own rescuer, I would be my own safety,I would be my own security. How exciting! I could take control. Then I spent a year or two wondering 'how'. I tried googling it, asking people......then this year - I found out. Its been one of the most - if not the most - effective thing I've done and has been the launching board into happiness.
Step 1. Get to know yourself. What are your values, what are your needs. This isn't as hard as you think. You can download the app to find your positive core values (currently on google play : Life Mentoring).
Step 2. Discover what fills your cup and what drains your cup (people and/or things). We humans want and need balance in life. Think of this in terms of deposits and withdrawals. What are your deposits and what are your withdrawals. See the table for examples.
Step 3. You aim is to avoid the withdrawals as much as you can -or convert them (again see the table) and gravitate towards the deposits.
Step 4. What tools can you use. My strategy is called the pin wheel. Is has worked faultlessly for me since i started using it. i have created balance in my life and I'm the happiest I've been in years - and consistently so!
Step 5. Once you have set up the tool that works for you - create a habit. Reflect on this tool daily until it becomes a habit. Check your balance. You want to prevent your wheel from being wobbly as it goes round in life. Recognise when you feel out of balance and refer back to the wheel to see which area is low.
Another method is that by Tony Robbins - he says he has five daily habits: to feed your mind, address your body, your role models, take action and find someone worse off than you and help them.
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