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Writer's pictureLife Mentoring

How to Stop Saying 'No' to Your Child All the Time


Do you feel parenting is like an impossible juggling act.


There’s never enough time for everything that needs to be done, let alone the things you’d like to do.


You’re running on little sleep, trying to manage your kids' routines, and wrestling with the constant mental load of meal prep, housework, and errands.


You’d love to travel, enjoy guilt-free “me” time, or even just have a peaceful shower without interruption.


But instead, you're stuck in a cycle of stress, feeling like you’re always one step behind.


On top of all that, you desperately want to be a calm, present parent who spends quality time with your kids.


Yet, the constant correcting, managing, and saying “no” leaves you drained and questioning if you’re doing it right.


This article is for you.


By making small changes to how you approach parenting, you can create a calmer, more balanced home where you feel more in control—and your kids feel more loved and supported.


Set Them Up for Success: My story of when I got my border collie puppy


When my family got a puppy—a playful, energetic border collie named Poppy—I quickly realized I didn’t want to spend my days saying “no.”


Puppies, especially border collies, love to chew, and I didn’t want her to think her name was “No, Poppy!” instead of just “Poppy.”


So, I decided to set her up for success.

I went through my house and cleared away anything she might chew.

Shoes went into closets, toys were put in bins, and anything tempting was moved out of her reach.

My house had never been so tidy, but it worked.


With fewer temptations, Poppy didn’t get the chance to chew on things she shouldn’t.

In all her puppy months, she only managed to grab one sock and one shoe.

By creating an environment where it was easy for her to behave, I didn’t have to spend my days correcting her—and she became the best puppy.


One client complained that her child was pouring water all the time.

She was tearing her hair out.

Part of her didn't want to stop her child experimenting. however the constant mopping up of water made her at her wits end.

What could she do?

Have times and places where water pouring is acceptable.

And for times where it isn't - don't make it possible,

Only put a small amount of water in the cup. so pouring it is only a few droplets.

Yes, you have to keep refilling the cup if they actually want to drink it.

What is better - mopping up a lot of water or refilling the cup.

Get creative. ask yourself - how can I set them up to win.

Then I can praise them!!


So, you see, the same principle applies to parenting.


If your child struggles to keep their room tidy, simplify the space so it’s easier for them to succeed.

If mornings are chaotic, streamline the routine by laying out clothes or prepping breakfast the night before.

Setting your child up for success reduces the need for corrections and makes life easier for everyone.


1. Notice the Positive Behavior


When parenting feels overwhelming, it’s easy to focus on what’s wrong.


Your child spills milk, forgets their homework, or refuses to tidy their room, and you’re instantly in “fix it” mode.


But when you only highlight mistakes, kids can feel like they’re always getting it wrong, which can lead to frustration on both sides.


Instead, try flipping the script by looking for what they’re doing right.


For example, if they quietly sit and colour while you’re making dinner, thank them for being patient.


If they remember to put their shoes away after school, acknowledge it with a smile and a kind word.

These moments may seem small, but they’re powerful.


Positive reinforcement encourages your child to repeat those behaviors and helps you feel more connected as a parent.


Focusing on the good doesn’t mean ignoring boundaries or rules.

It’s about balancing corrections with encouragement so that your interactions feel more supportive than critical.


2. Pick Your Battles

If you’ve ever felt like a broken record saying “don’t do that” all day, you’re not alone.


Constant corrections can exhaust both you and your child.

To break this cycle, it helps to ask yourself: Is this really worth addressing?


Here’s an example from my own life.

My son used to sneak bowls of cereal when he wasn’t supposed to.

I’d walk into the kitchen and find a few stray flakes on the counter, the telltale sign of his secret snack.

I knew I could confront him about it—and some days I wanted to.

But I also knew that constantly pointing out every little misstep wasn’t creating the kind of relationship I wanted with him.


So I chose to let it go.

I knew the cereal wasn’t a battle worth fighting, and by picking my moments to correct him, I found I had more energy to connect with him in positive ways.



Finding Balance in Parenting

Parenting is hard, but it doesn’t have to feel impossible. By noticing positive behavior, picking your battles, and setting your child up to succeed, you can create a calmer, happier home.

You don’t need to be a perfect parent. You just need to be intentional, focusing on what truly matters and letting go of the rest. The result? A stronger connection with your child, more moments of joy, and, most importantly, a parenting experience that feels more balanced and fulfilling.

Start small. Celebrate a win. And don’t forget to say “yes” to yourself along the way.

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