My kids don’t listen!

How to Stay Calm When Your Kids Don’t Listen—and Help Them Start Paying Attention

As a mum, few things are as frustrating as asking your kids to do something and being ignored.

Maybe you’ve asked them to clean up their toys, stop bouncing on the sofa, or get ready for bed.

Instead of cooperation, you’re met with blank stares, half-hearted nods, moaning and whining or worse—completely ignoring you.

Over time, the frustration builds.

You repeat yourself, raise your voice, and eventually, you might lose your cool.

It’s a cycle many mums know all too well: frustration leads to yelling, yelling leads to guilt, and you’re left feeling exhausted, questioning your parenting skills.

It’s not just about the chore they didn’t do; it’s about the sense of being invisible and unappreciated.

But here’s the truth: your kids aren’t ignoring you on purpose to drive you mad.

Often, they’re just distracted, tired, or not sure what’s being asked of them.

With a few tweaks to how you approach these moments, you can break the cycle and foster better communication.

Why Kids Don’t Listen

Kids aren’t born knowing how to focus or follow instructions; they learn these skills over time.

Factors like their age, emotional state, or current activity can all impact their ability to respond.

If they’re engrossed in play or feeling overwhelmed themselves, your voice can feel like background noise.

And when we, as mums, lose patience or use too many words to explain, they can feel overwhelmed too.

The key is to approach communication in a way that grabs their attention without adding unnecessary stress—for you or for them.

How to Get Your Kids to Listen

Here’s a simple, effective method to help your kids focus on what you’re saying and follow through on your requests:

1. Stop and Calm Yourself

2. Say Their Name

3. Get Their Attention

4. Look at Them

5. Be Specific About Timing

6. Be Clear and Firm

7. Offer Help When Needed

8. Praise Them Afterward

Breaking the Frustration Cycle

When you use this approach consistently, you’ll notice fewer power struggles and more cooperation. You’ll feel calmer and more in control, and your kids will feel respected and understood.

Parenting is hard work, especially when life feels chaotic.

But small changes in how you communicate can make a big difference.

By focusing on connection first and giving clear instructions, you’ll create a smoother dynamic—and maybe even a little more peace in your home.

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