Give me a minute to explain if you will.
When I was 11 - I felt self conscious.
My school bus stop was at the end of the village - last on & all eyes on me. They were chatting, looking, laughing and I felt that they were saying unkind things about me. I wasn't popular, I wasn't part of a group. So being 11 meant being unpopular & something wrong with me. I attached emotions to that feeling.
Fast forward to just last week, stepping on a bus again for the first time in ages - people looked at me & laughed. Maybe the looking & laughing were not connected.
However I felt self conscious. And all those emotions returned in a flash - it felt strange. Yet getting on a bus has a direct connection with being 11 & all the emotions I felt then.
Any emotion you have is a logical consequence of what has happened before, the thoughts you had plus the meaning you gave it originally.
An emotion today has its roots in yesterday, we filed them in our subconscious, waiting to be triggered.
It's not a surprise. It’s obvious and predictable.
You once had a thought....
Therefore if you want to change an emotion all you need to do it trace it back & see why you decided that a particular event made you decide to give it that meaning & therefore that emotion.