Would you rather be your real self?

Do you want to be happier with your life? You may know you'd love to be your true self But something is stopping you. I must tell you that being yourself will make you happier. Its not straightforward, as there's a bit of a conundrum.

What does being your true self actually mean

First you need to know what it means. Then how can you 'become' yourself. Most of these blog articles focus on different aspects how you are behaving, thinking and feeling. By investigating we can review and eliminate unhelpful behaviours, thoughts and feelings. So the approach is to take one behaviour, or set of behaviours, at a time. Find the thinking behind it and review it. Once it changes, it allows you to feel happier, then you can move on to the next one.

How do you know when you are yourself though. Often we can think we are being our true self but how can we be sure. The answer is that life is easier. Life feels like it flows. There is no conflict within yourself. So it is a feeling - you feel it.

What is becoming true

Lets create an example. Firstly, work out something you want from life then look at what's required to achieve this. What you will find is that you are fitting in with society and expectations too much. You have been molded since a child. Now you want to free yourself. How do you overcome this?

The question appears to be "how" (e.g. how do I free myself? how do I get what I want? how do I become happier? and so on). In fact really the question is "what is stopping you?" It isn't that you don't know 'how', it is that you are stopping yourself. So its when you address this second question that you will find the answer.

The conundrum

Now let me take you back to the conundrum - what if you do 'become' your true self and then people don't like you? That's what you are thinking. There is a fear of judgment. This fear is behind everything.

Think about someone you've seen who is totally and shamelessly themselves. Do you judge them or envy them? Maybe both. Partly you may wish you could be that free. Then partly you feel you will be judged. The issue then is about how will you cope with that potential judgement.

So to be yourself you need to not fear judgement. You may need to be comfortable with not everyone liking you. The reason is that you are no longer a people pleaser. Once you give yourself permission, you will feel the freedom. .

The fact remains that when you are your real true self you will be happier. And from this state you will be able to give more in life.

So let me ask you again:

Are you totally happy in life? Does something feel a bit off?

Don't wonder anyone more about what prevents life being better for you. Start to take action to become yourself. Contact Life Mentoring for help to uncover what's stopping you.