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Creating Trust - What do we do when trust is elusive

Our emotions can get the better of us. This is normal and natural. Firstly we want to aim for learning not panic when this happens. To accept that our body is trying its best for us.

What is your body trying to tell you?

We may wonder what the reason is for this reaction.

Sometimes we say we are triggered - the quick scan has alerted your body and nervous system to something that's not safe. It knows this because it has come across it before.

It has done a quick scan and decided you are not safe and it wants you to do something about this.

We need to get back to safe.

This article is not about how to immediately get you back to safe.

This article is to serve as a prevention and preparation.

To feel safe, we have to have trust.

One vital area is to have trust in ourselves and our abilities.

It does not mean that we aim for all to be well ALL the time.

It is so we can always get back to safe.

This knowledge that we can always get back to safety serves us in good stead and allows us to push our limits.

What are the areas of trust that we are aiming to build up

1. Skills and Competence:

Recognise your strengths and acknowledge your achievements.

Continuously learning and improving your skills can reinforce this trust.

2. Judgment and Decision-Making:

This involves believing in your capacity to make sound decisions.

Reflect on past decisions and their outcomes to build this.

3. Values and Principles:

Know and adhere to your core values and principles to build trust in your integrity and character.

Regularly reflect on your values by ensuring your actions align with them to reinforce this trust.

4. Self-Care:

Learn and trust yourself to take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This includes maintaining healthy habits, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care.

5. Emotional Resilience:

Trust your ability to handle emotions.

Trust your ability to cope with challenges.

Building emotional resilience involves practicing self-compassion, managing stress, and learning from difficult experiences.

6 Intuition :

Trusting your gut feelings or instincts can guide you in making decisions, especially when you lack complete information.

Developing this trust involves paying attention to how you feel in different situations and learning from the outcomes.

Building trust in these areas involves self-reflection, continuous learning, and a willingness to embrace and learn from mistakes.

Self-Trust Development Checklist

1. Skills and Competence

Identify and list your core skills and strengths.

Set achievable goals to improve or acquire new skills.

Track your progress and celebrate small victories.

Seek feedback from others to gain perspective on your competence.

Regularly engage in activities that leverage your strengths.

2. Judgment and Decision-Making

Review past decisions and their outcomes to understand your decision-making patterns. Consider the pros and cons before making decisions.

Consult trusted mentors or peers for advice on significant decisions.

Practice making decisions in low-stakes situations to build confidence.

Reflect on any decisions you regret and identify lessons learned.

3. Values and Principles

List your core values and principles.

Reflect on how your daily actions align with these values.

Make a plan to address any discrepancies between your actions and values.

Practice saying "no" to things that do not align with your values.

Regularly revisit and revise your values as needed.

4. Self-Care:

Develop and maintain a consistent self-care routine.

Set boundaries to protect your time and energy.

Prioritize sleep, nutrition, and physical activity.

Schedule regular check-ins with yourself to assess your well-being.

Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

5. Emotional Resilience

Develop a regular practice of self-compassion and positive self-talk.

Identify and implement stress management techniques (e.g., exercise, meditation).

Reflect on challenging experiences and how you coped with them.

Set realistic expectations for yourself to avoid unnecessary stress.

Build a support network of friends, family, or professionals to lean on.

6. Intuition

Regularly reflect on situations where you trusted your intuition.

Did it guide you well?

Keep a journal of gut feelings and their outcomes.

Practice mindfulness to enhance your connection with your inner voice.

Learn to differentiate between intuition and fear or anxiety.

Reflective Questions :

How did I feel when I trusted my intuition in the past week?

What skills have I improved recently, and how have I applied them?

How did my recent decisions align with my values and principles?

What strategies have helped me manage stress and build resilience?

In what ways have I prioritized self-care and respected my boundaries?

Using this checklist regularly can help reinforce trust in yourself across these critical areas.

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