Updated: Dec 23, 2020
What is listening?
Often people say they are a listener. People listen but are so busy thinking of what to say next that they don't really hear the other person. You need to not only be hearing the words but understanding the complete message.
We all have a right to be heard.
Communication is vital . Listening is a big part of this.
There are four reasons we listen:
To obtain information
Listening to understand is not about hearing the facts and memorising them. It is about translating them into meaning. This is a mistake that many listeners make.
Do you listen?
We need to remove our own emotional filters. We need to hear the meaning that the speaker is intending.
We need to withhold our judgement and evaluations during listening.
Likewise we need to not be looking for negative evidence during this time.
You can improve your listening.
Below are ways to show you are listening and set yourself up to improve your listening.
What does listening actually looks like:
Can you tell when someone is actually listening? If you are unsure, the following are areas of communication to consider:
They are looking at you
They are making eye contact
Watch their body language - eg nodding, smile,
Listen for minimal encouragers
You won't feel rushed
You will feel supported
You feel centre of attention
They are paraphrasing what you say
They are asking you relevant questions
They will asked open questions
They will do more listening than talking
They won't change the subject
They will empathise
They won't have prepared an answer by the time you have finished speaking.
How to create a listening environment
Pick a good time for both parties
Make sure you don't get bored
Make sure you don't lose focus
Don't be on a time limit (if you are in a rush the person may interrupt, make you speed up and get to the point)
Ask them if what you said makes sense to them
What are the benefits of listening
* Helps relationships and reciprocation. This promotes trust and respect.
* Improves and strengthens relationships - making someone feel valued
* Personal development - provides clarity and information. Helping you understand people and the world.
Listening is a skill. It can be improved. Listening is beneficial to all parties.
As a life coach, my role is to listen. to ask questions. This is to help you find the answers.
If you are needing some answers contact me at Life Mentoring now.