Whats holding you up in life? What's tying you down? I mean really - what is it that's really holding you back?
How and when we learn
We all put energy into our lives.
In fact it seems people are putting in more and more effort.
The shame of it is that they aren't getting the benefits they want.
We are born with potential and we all use it as much as we can.
Sometimes I think the mind is too clever. Its like a computer with all its algorithms but we are human and don't know how to programme it. It gets programmed from birth and some programmes are faulty or not for the long term . We don't update it. This was never something naturally built into us.
What is a belief?
A certainty about what something means. It is information about our actions and the actions of others. Conscious or subconscious. If you see a behaviour you translate that into what that behaviour means. For example if someone smiles at someone you might immediately think they are happy , and further more that they are happy to see that person. It may be that they know that person - you will decide this from the nuances of the smile and perhaps the response of the other person. This is our programming and conditioning. To work out what a behaviour means - using our past experience.
Why can this be wrong?
This can go wrong. When we learn that our beliefs were created a long time ago and were dependent on the life we were living then we can begin to see that they may not be relevant to today. We interpreted experiences - painful ones and pleasureable ones - at the time they happened. We then continue to use this interpretation for ever more. This can be wrong - the situation you were in and the circumstances you were in back then may not relate to today. Aslo they may not relate to everyone. So what is true for you may not be true for others. However this is an assumption we tend to make. When our expectations aren't met and we are disappointed and this eventually leads to frustration.
To live in the present
Therefore we are living based on the past. So we are living in the past - and our behaviours and beliefs and reactions are based on past. If we want to stop living in the past and start living in the present then we must update these beliefs. We need to be consciously aware of them so that we can consciously change them. They are a well versed programme that has been practiced over and over again. Everything you experience from the time you set up the belief has been looked at and analysed - often in a biased way - to fit in with that belief.
When something happens to us today - even the smallest of events - we relate it back to our belief of the past. We are biased. We make it fit. Sometimes we can't and so we may ignore it - saying its a one off - and we may promptly forget about it. We only want information that confirms our belief. So this is what we look for and what we see and notice.
Are all beliefs bad then?
Not at all. The beliefs we want to uncover and reprogramme are the ones that are holding us back. preventing us from moving forward with our lives. The limiting beliefs. The ones that do not empower us or make life easy for us. So if the belief is a good one then all is well. However beliefs can lead us astray.
So we know what we want - for the most part - and the actions we take are our efforts to reach what we want. So far so good - but it goes wrong - we all have opinions and beliefs that we learnt that can take us off course in our current day. The first step is to become aware of which beliefs are limiting us.
Beliefs to consider:
Lack of understanding
Feelings of not deserving
Fear of rejection
Feeling of its not possible
When we have blocks they create internal conflicts. These can be come a habit and therefore a viscous circle. We have stories we tell ourselves that keep up repeating the patterns (we don't realise these are stories of course - we think they are true!) Once you identify these patterns you are well placed to begin to see the belief that is limiting your behaviour, thoughts progress and goals. Once you know it and can understand it you can make changes to free yourself .
First we must recognise that there is a 'belief' going on and then we must challenge it. Ask if it really is true. Is it always true? Have we been biased. Is it causing us conflict.
So first we must become aware and recognise the beliefs. Then acknowledge it. To change this belief can be uncomfortable and can take time. Time to process, time to reflect and time to change. Then practice the new way of being and lastly to become comfortable with the new way. It then becomes incorporated into your life.
For more information you can contact Life Mentoring (firstname.lastname@example.org).
Beliefs were created a long time ago and have become part of us. Some of them are no longer helpful. To remove them we need to recognise them and make moves to change them. This will lead us to having less conflict within ourselves and forward on the path towards the goals we want.